you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
