I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
