Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
