lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
