Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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