this just has baby written all over it
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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