id be glad to
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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