She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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