I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
