I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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