P.S. I can't hear my feet
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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