The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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