Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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