I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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