god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
