"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
