I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
