i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
