Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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