Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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