I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
