he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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