dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
