Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
