No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
