I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
