DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
