You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
