we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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