and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
tonight lets celebrate not being married
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
