but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
