I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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