you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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