she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
