im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
