I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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