JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
