yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
bring money and cleavage
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
