Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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