No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
