By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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