Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
