When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
