Slut skills are useful in every country.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
