he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
