You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
