You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
only you would photoshop your dick
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
