I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize