I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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