apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
