I will die if light touches me.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
