Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
